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When God Doesn't Move Your Mountain

I grew up believing in God and experiencing God's blessings. Then when I became a mother, God suddenly felt very far away. Both of my boys, born two years apart, received various diagnoses, that kept me busy running to non-stop specialists, speech therapy, physical therapy, and occupational therapy appointments. I did lots of research, figuring out strategies and tools and supplements that might help my boys. I prayed often for their healing. For wisdom about what to do to help my boys. And I only experienced God's silence. I struggled with anxiety and depression and prayed desperately for God to remove them. He didn't—at least not right away and not in the way I expected. I experienced a crisis of faith in which I wavered between wondering if God was good, to clinging to Him in desperation, and scariest of all, to wondering if He even existed.

Faith